Ummmm, you have a monkey

My friend Ravi invited me to his Dad's flat for lunch with his extended family.  I was trying my best to be a good guest and not do anything stupid.  We were eating when out of the corner of my eye I saw the tail of ther cat as it walked into the living room.  Then I thought, "Wait a minute, these guys don't have a cat.  No one has pet cats in India".

So I adjusted my seat to get a clear view.  Right behind my Ravi's Dad was a large monkey, sitting and looking at me.  I thought, "Is it possible that these guys have a pet monkey, and failed to tell me about it?".  This seemed unlikely, but I didn't want to scream and look like an idiot if this was their pet.  Casually, I said, "Umm, excuse me, you have a monkey?"  It was half-question half-statement.

Ravi's Dad, brother, sis-in-law, and neice don't English and just stared blankly at me.  Ravi had a mouthful of food, and he tried to finish chewing before trying to tell me that, no, they do not have monkey.  I pointed at the monkey.  Only then did everyone jump out of their chair in fright, and excitedly the brave ones chaised the monkey out the bedroom window.

After the event, they laughed about how calmly I just said, "Ummm, you have a monkey".  I guess I should trust my instincts.  A monkey in a living room is perhaps surprising in any country.

In other monkey learnings:  my coworker Biswa says that monkeys will slap you if make them mad, They hang out on the roofs of all the high rises, and they will dance if you play music for them.

My saddest day so far

Today was my coworker Pankaj's last day at my work, and that made today a very sad day for me.  I have seen 10% of my coworkers quit since I have started (in only 4 months).  It is part of the reality of Indian Pharma companies.  It is troublesome in a work-sense, but this time it was not just a smart and experienced coworker leaving - it was a good friend.

Pankaj is my equivalent from the other main department, another group leader in formulation (I am in analytical).  We work as a team in almost all of my projects.  We met back when I visited India for work a year ago, and have worked closely since I arrived here to work.  He was so good in patiently explaining to me about how things are done at this company, and taught me a lot about formulation as well.  But more importantly he has been a good friend, talking to me when other people just stare.  He sat next to me when others avoided me like I had the flu.  He joked with me about the boss, about our clients, and made me feel like I was just another friend - not an outsider.

It will surely embarrass him to read this!  Sorry Pankaj.

My coworkers didn't take this as hard as I did.  They are accustomed to seeing coworkers and friends leave.  However, I still only have a handful of good friends in this country, so it is tough.  In addition, the pharma world is a small one in India, like it is in the US.  Others at work may end up working with Pankaj in a few years, but I will likely never see him again.

On the lighter side, it is EXPENSIVE to leave a job.  Even thought the new company pays for relocation, they won't reimburse for all the parties!  When you announce you are accepting a new job, you throw a party.  Then you take out your group of friends for a nice dinner - and pay.  Then on your last day, you throw a party at work for your department and close coworkers.  A bus party is also required.  In the US, others would throw the party for you, but I like it better the Indian way.  It dissuades people from leaving, just a little bit.  :)

Another funny thing.  During the work party, as expected, everyone close to the departing colleague gives a short speech.  The unusual thing is that people give negative as well as positive feedback to the guy leaving.  In the US, there would be a separate forum (or none at all) to discuss the faults of the guy.  It is so strange to have a guy get a new job, he buys food and beverage for all of his coworkers, only to listen to them tell him what his professional and personal flaws are!  But I am starting to appreciate the honesty of this country.

I just hope that everyone in my circle of friends at work doesn't leave too soon...

my new bike

My "new" bike is not new.  Although it is a 2005, by Indian standards that is ancient.  I think the road and weather conditions are so rough that bikes don't usually last 10 years, if that.

So I have wanted a scooter for the last 2 years.  However, it just didn't make sense to have one in Philly.  I tried driving a scooter in Ankleshwar a month ago.  It was super fun, so I was revitalized to get one.  Then 2 weekends ago my fiend Krupal let me try driving his bike.  This was my first tme driving a real motorcycle.  I was not a great student, but I was able to drive.

So on a whim this weekend I decided to buy a bike, a real one!  I found some used bike dealers in the old city using justdial.com.  I took a friend with me and picked a small old bike.  As expected, everyone encouraged me to get a scooter instead of a bike, or at least a newer bike that would be easier to manage.  I said no!  I want an old beater!

So I drove for 3 hours in the last 2 days.  Some with a friend on the back (good for signalling turns and telling me when to go through intersections), and some alone (easier to manage bike without the extra weight).  I got hot (it is 110F here), dirty, and sunburned, but it was so much fun.  So far I have taken mostly left turns only, to avoid going through large intersections (traffic lights are just suggestions here).  I love that everyone laughs and waves at me, since I am a whitey.  Even when I stall in intersections, the people just laugh and drive around.  I am given forgiveness for my poor skills since I am so obviously not from here.

I have trouble starting the bike (it is a kick start), and trouble getting it into neutral.  I tipped the bike over once when I was taking it off the stand, but I am strong enough to pick it back up.  If I were in the US, I would have no trouble driving around, but the "rules" are different here.  I hope I get better at it.  I also have no license yet, no helmet yet.  I make sure to carry a few hundred rupees whenever I ride, as that is the way to handle trouble if a cop stops me.  :)

I am badass!

Women in India

First, an addition to my last blog:  Indians can learn from americans something about keeping a bathroom clean.  Even in high end restaurants, I go into a bathroom and it looks like an alien just gave birth in there before I entered.  Even in people's homes it can be like that.  I think it might have something to with the prevalance of housekeepers in India.  Since no one cleans their own bathroom, residents don't bother to try and be neat when using the bathroom.  And since housekeepers here only do the minimum standard of job required to not get fired, no one knows what it is like to have a truly clean bathroom...

I digress...

I have come to learn something about myself living here.  That is, if someone says I can't or shouldn't do something, it makes me want to do it even more.  This is especially true when it comes to men vs. women.  Here in India, there are many things that women are not expected to do.  I will divide them into categories.

Rules for women in India that I follow:

1. Do not expose too much skin.  I never wear shorts, skirts, or show cleavage.  Of course, I didn't do this in the US either, so I shouldn't say that I am being purposefully PC.
2. Do not talk to random men.  At first when coming here I would keep to myself but engage in converstation if anyone spoke to me.  I figured people were curious and friendly.  Now I know to smile and walk away if a guy starts talking to me.  The guys are harmless but annoying, and definitely are not looking to discuss international politics.

Rules for women in India that I relish ignoring:

1. Women do not drink.  I was so pissed when I went to Mt. Abu and was told not to go to the beer store because I am a woman.  I hold my head high when going to the alcohol store now.  Keep in mind that drinking is illegal here, but I got my consumption license because I am a foreigner.  I was embarrassed at first, but with a little confidence and determination I can now joke around with the workers.  Also, I don't bother triple bagging my trash when it contains beer bottles now.
2. At work and in a society, a woman should only socialize with the other women.  What the crap is this?  This leads to a lack of bonding with coworkers, and a general view that women are not equals (especially since women in technical roles are only about 10% of the workforce).  And the conversation at the women's lunch table is the most boring converstaion that I could ever imagine.  Nothing but food, husbands, food, inlaws, food, movies, and food.
3. Don't lift heavy things or put yourself in any "danger".  Some people like being treated like royalty, not me.  I want to lift my own water bottles and hang off the back of a 6-seater auto.
4. Give up career ambitions in order to have babies.  Nothing else to say on this point.
5. Move in with your in-laws.  Hahahhaahahaha
6. Don't drive a motorcycle.  I bought a motorcycle today!!!!  Women do drive scooters, but I will be a an anomaly driving a bike.  This would be a big enough challenge in the US, but in India with the crazy (lack of) traffic rules, this will be a challenge and a half.  I have only about 1 hour of total bike riding experience in my life total, but I will practice every day.