Last Day of Work

After much back-and-forth, I am surely leaving Ahmedabad.  Today is my last day of work.

Sorry if this post is a repeat of things I have already said.  But it is everything on my mind as I decide to stay in India or go.

After a year and a half in India, my favorite things to do have become:  shopping, spa, watching movies, and eating street food.  Movies, spa and shopping I can do in the US.  Only street food is tough for me to leave.  Of course I can get Philly street food (cheesesteaks, falafel) instead of Indian (pani puri, vadapav, pao bhaji, masala chass to drink out a plastic bag).  I have done all the traveling that I wanted to do.  I never saw Kerala or Tibet region.  I saw enough to be satisfied - Delhi, Bangalore, Ragasthan (Udaipur/Jodhpur/Jaipur), Goa, Mumbai, Mysore, Agra (Taj Mahal), Ooty/Nainital and some other hill stations, and village life in Uttar Pradesh.  It was always as interesting to see real Indian life as a local, as it was to be a tourist.  I have certainly lived the real life here, and I have loved it.  I don't live in an ex-pat bubble.

I have become tan.  I found that I look very cute in Indian kurti (tunic shirt), so I will bring a bunch home.  I have challenged my introverted personality here.  I have become more willing to pick up the phone, haggle with vendors, speaking in a new language, and interacting with people I don't know.  I had no choice to do this if I wanted to survive, in my job and outside.  It was not easy, but it has been really good for me.  I hope to continue to improve, even in the US - where it is easy to become a hermit.

I miss comedy clubs, pubs, my dog, and friends who understand me.  I miss baseball.  I miss women being equal to men.  I miss the I miss the ability to be "invisible", when I don't feel like being stared at or spoken to.  Mumbai would have provided these things (substitute cricket for baseball), but it looks like the Mumbai job may not materialize.

I don't mind the struggles of life here (pollution, cheap things breaking, household chores done in basic ways, bucket showers, government bureaucracy - like my visa/FRRO and driver's license challenges).  My low salary is OK because things are cheap here, and I live a simple life (I do buy expensive designer clothes but I skip the expensive car in favor of bike/auto-rickshaw).  Sure, my salary is high compared to the average Indian.  I don't need to support my parents, children, or various out-of-work uncles/brothers like many Indians...  So I do understand that the struggles of my life are not so tough as compared to others here.  I do hope to have fewer struggles in my job (money for better software/equipment, coworkers coming to meetings on time, coworkers with better communication/presentation skills).

Since announcing my decision, everyone in the city (landlord, neighbors, friends, coworkers) have been asking me to come to their home for dinner before I go.  Of course I have been avoiding these invites.  Surely the food would be good, but you know I hate food being pushed on me like the Drill Sergeant in Full Metal Jacket.  Plus I hate to play the role of "slightly stupid newcomer to india".  Although I have finally memorized my standard answers to the following inevitable questions:
What food do eat at home?
Do you understand the rules of cricket?
What do you like/hate about India?
Do you watch Bollywood movies?

I am obliged to give a few "parties" as I have talked about before.

• Work party: People sitting in uncomfortable silent circle.  Then they take turns saying good things about you and areas for improvement, eat snacks, leave.
• Restaurant party:  One for work group, one for friend circle at work, one for each group of friends outside work.  More fun than work party.  More speeches.
• Treat party:  I give all coworkers sweets from a sweetshop as I say "goodbye, all the best".
• Bus party:  Stop work bus to get street food.  More speeches.
• Drink party:  Self-explanatory, and the most fun party.  No speeches, thank God.

On Tuesday I will take a train to Delhi and spend some time with friends before returning to US.  My bags are nearly all packed and I will not return to Ahmedabad.

I will blog a lot in the next few weeks, as I will be bored without work.  I promise to talk about other things than US/India comparison!

Haryana Marriage

My coworker Vijay got married, and invited me to attend.  Indian weddings are not like American weddings.  They span multiple days, involve numerous religous and ceremonial events.

I will let the pictures tell the story...

Preparing food for the events.

At the first event, all the guests wave money around the groom's head, then throw it in a towel for him.  This was repeated 5 or 6 times.  North Indians are not shy about flashing cash.

I think I was blessing him.  Nice Indian suit, no?

During some downtime, I took a tour of the beer factory where the groom's father works.  This is the analytical lab.  I did some quality control testing.  :)

I did not realize that a sari is simply one huge rectangle of fabric.

Yes, I look amazing in a sari!  First time, maybe last time.  3 girls were required to dress me correctly.

I spent the majority of my time during the 5 days on this bed, hanging out with the younger family members.  This is a small village in Haryana.  Girls aren't allowed to go out exploring on their own.  I told the kids that I would take them to the nearby "big city" of Rewari to see a movie.  I got yelled at for suggesting that...

So many rituals!  It was interesting to watch.  I tried to learn the significance of the various rituals, but even most of the Indians didn't know.  They just do it.

Putting curd in Vijay's hair was fun

Vijay's bhabi putting "eyeliner" on him.  Please notice the chest-protector made of money.  Nice.

We paraded several times with the bhangra drums.  Horses and dancing also.  Not dancing horses, but I have been told that sometimes there are dancing horses...

Vijay arriving at actual marriage in a chariot.

I was most amused by the guy pulling the generator behind the chariot so that it can be nice and bright.

After the marriage we went to the brides home to officially move her from her parents home to Vijay's parents home.  Here, all the ladies inspected the bride's gold jewelry gifts from the groom's family to make sure they were good enough.  This seemed rude, but it is normal.  The event was not over until 5 AM.

Poonam got very very sad leaving her family.  She wailed and cried like I have never seen, as we were leaving with her, especially saying goodbye to her father.  Everyone was crying, even the men, at the show of emotion.  This made me really appreciate the closeness of family in India.

 

Thanks to Vijay and his great family for my fun trip!